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The Still Face Experiment – Technology

a day ago
3 min

The Still Face Experiment – Technology

In 2013, Tronick told the Washington Post, ““we just didn’t have any idea how powerful the connection with other people was for infants, and how, when you disconnect, how powerfully negative the effect was on the infant” (Mock, 2020). In 1975, a researcher by the name of Edward Tronick presented the “Still Face Experiment” to the Society for Research in Child Development. Along with colleagues, Tronick conveyed the message that emotional disengagement with an infant lead to e

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Icebergs – Affairs

6 days ago
4 min

Icebergs – Affairs

Despite our backgrounds or expectations for attachments, we may hit icebergs and endure the trembling waters of affairs. In various cultures or religions, there are different views on how couples are supposed to form their attachments with their partners. Considering research surrounding these findings, we really get to understand the emotional lens of how couples share their underlying feels and attachment needs with their loved ones. The biggest take away I’d like you to re

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Jumping the Gun – Our Reactions

Apr 9
3 min

Jumping the Gun – Our Reactions

Our reactions, while valid, can also be a part of how we protect ourselves. In many insecure attachments, we find that there isn’t a space where it’s okay to simply share what’s going on underneath. Sometimes in our relationships, the hardest thing to do is approach our partner when we are upset with them. I sit with clients every day, and often I articulate that reactions can be so much easier than sharing our very vulnerable emotion. The way we actively handle our emotions

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Male Suicidality

Apr 3
3 min

Male Suicidality

47,511 individuals completed suicide in 2019. Of these statistics, there is a great significance around the percentage of men who are completing suicide in the United States. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) hits hard with the following findings regarding suicidality in the United States— In 2019, men died by suicide 3.63x more often than women. On average, there are 130 suicides per day. White males accounted for 69.38% of suicide deaths in 2019 47,511 i

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"I Don't Want to be Here." Suicidal Ideation

Mar 29
4 min

"I Don't Want to be Here." Suicidal Ideation

At times, we might have the answer to our loved one’s pain, but making sure to check in and see that their need is being met can make even more of a difference in how we connect. If you’ve ever thought about life, maybe you’ve felt fear about death and what it means to you. Maybe you’ve asked yourself, “what will I leave behind?” Maybe you’ve actually experienced a passive thought around life or death from time to time – something like, “what’s the point?” or “maybe this woul

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Can I Rely Solely on Logic in My Relationship?

Mar 26
4 min

Can I Rely Solely on Logic in My Relationship?

To those we love dearly, we can utilize our relationship, and that safety and security specifically, to provide a model for how we reach for comfort. This is an exact question I’ve asked in relationships in my life. It is a question I’ve searched on Google for, because I felt like something was wrong when I wasn’t able to share those emotions or deepest parts of myself with those in my life. I realize logic plays a key factor throughout our lives—as a student, I needed to abs

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Obstacles in Resolving

Mar 22
4 min

Obstacles in Resolving

The obstacles I speak to here are centered on feeling disconnected, disengaged, or disregarded by our partners. You might’ve felt at times that you weren’t a “priority” to someone in your life, but eventually, you acknowledged that this was your new normal, and you had to accept that this way of connecting was your reality. When we’re reaching out to our partners, we might find that we have sudden moments that we’re jerked back from what we’re trying to communicate with them.

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Alone and Lonely

Mar 18
3 min

Alone and Lonely

If we’re sure that we want to build that secure attachment with our loved one, and they’re dedicated to building that safety as well, we can face the roadblocks together. In therapy, we have a responsibility to help our clients process their emotional struggles. To move in the right direction towards secure attachment, we must cross roadblocks and intersections that can steer us away from our partners— these moments are vital, because they provide rest areas for us to lean in

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Mental Health Stigma

Mar 15
3 min

Mental Health Stigma

We are driven human beings inspired by the world around us— but we are also humans that live in a world that may also perpetuate shame and guilt. Despite mental health being what we focus our eyes on every day with clients, mental health has really shifted dramatically over the years. In my knowledge alone, there are cultural, familial, and political areas of concern that have shed light on mental health as an unrealistic or pseudo- phenomenon in our world. On the other hand,

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Our Practice

Mar 11
4 min

Our Practice

I want to talk about what drives us to continue our practice, Cultivate Connection Counseling. Hello Everyone, I wanted to talk some about our practice, Cultivate Connection Counseling. The guy writing these blog posts (ME) is Tommy Lofgren, an associate licensed counselor. My fiancé, Luis Madrigal is the current associate licensed counselor practicing with C.C.C. We started the business in December 2020 with the intent of establishing a practice that could expand our knowled

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Lacking Initiative

Mar 8
3 min

Lacking Initiative

While we must be “showing the ability” to act independently to meet our goals, our secure attachments want to see us succeed—they want to watch how we’re able to take care of our own goals, but they also need emotional comfort when they’re unsure of the road they wish to follow. in.i.ti.a.tive noun 1. Showing the ability to act independently to achieve something. 2. A plan conceived to achieve something. I’m curious where you sit with initiative in your life. When you take a

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“I feel so Insecure”

Mar 6
4 min

“I feel so Insecure”

In the same way we might see clients struggling to communicate their emotions with their loved ones, they may have also experienced something completely disengaging when it came to their own emotional pain. Use today’s blog as a way to understand how it might feel to hear these things from someone you feel safe with. If you haven’t worked with a counselor before, maybe this insight provides a doorway for you to acknowledge your own insecurities and understand if you do feel s

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"What's my Diagnosis?"

Feb 28
3 min

"What's my Diagnosis?"

While logic plays a key in motivation and drive for success, processing our hopelessness or helplessness when we feel like we’re failing is the key to emotional comfort. (In the following post, I want to speak to issues that revolve around self-confidence and success in ourselves and our relationships. There will be times when clients might need additional resources, whether other professionals or medication, to address concerns related to high functioning or severe cases of

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Embracing your Defenses

Feb 21
3 min

Embracing your Defenses

When we help clients embrace their defenses, we allow them to see that sharing their underlying emotional experiences allows them to process their deepest realities Some of the hardest work we do as human beings revolves around building safety with other people. It is far from easy learning to engage softly and vulnerably with others. When I point to defensiveness, I speak to the protective layers of our hearts—at times, we learn that we have done wrong in the eyes of other p

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Formula for a Healthy Relationship

Feb 17
1 min

Formula for a Healthy Relationship

Valentine's Day sends an important message about recognizing those we love in our lives. This is a reminder, not just for one day of the year, but every day that we get to build a closer relationship with those that we love. Let's build bonds that transcend holidays. These are vital components for building a secure attachment with your partner. We value the work we do with couples in counseling, and we understand that individuals might also be struggling to building security

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Trauma is a Treacherous Road

Feb 17
3 min

Trauma is a Treacherous Road

"Trauma is a treacherous road, because without a safe and secure environment, patterns of disconnect and disengagement can lead to further hurt down the road." As a counselor, it is easier to say, “no one deserves to experience trauma of any sorts” than it is to recognize that trauma engulfs our communities, our nations, and our homes. Like makeup, trauma covers the mere complexion of our identities. First and foremost, trauma covers a wide variety of experiences or events in

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