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Shattered Heart - Religious Trauma
In the context of religion and the church, many people find peace with prayer, service, or spirituality. For others mental health though,...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- Jul 1, 2021
- 3 min
Developing Mental Health Stability
You've heard the saying, "when it rains, it pours." How do you continue to embrace changes and push past the ongoing rainfall as you move...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- Jun 11, 2021
- 4 min
Before I Walk the Aisle - Premarital Counseling
Here, I want to share with you a few different benefits that can be cultivated if you choose to work through issues early on in your...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- Jun 8, 2021
- 4 min
Guilt Around Sharing Emotions
We didn’t all have the shared experience of a secure attachment in our childhoods, or for a long enough period to build a safe haven with...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- May 27, 2021
- 4 min
Cultivating Connection With Your Therapist
Just as attachment theory was cultivated from studies around infant and parent attachment bonds, we have the sole responsibility of...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- May 24, 2021
- 4 min
"You're a People Pleaser"
We can learn to reconnect with ourselves and our loved ones in a secure manner. When we learn to look outside-in, we start to piece...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- May 18, 2021
- 3 min
Tidal Wave of Disconnect - 'Freeze and Flee' Dance
Even being caught in a ‘Freeze and Flee’ Dance, couples who are dedicated to taking a step into the troubled waters together, and are...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- May 15, 2021
- 3 min
"Stop Poking at Me" - 'The Protest Polka'
Being able to catch your cycle in the moment is the first step towards making space for what is pushing us and our loved ones away from...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- May 10, 2021
- 3 min
"It's Your Fault" - 'Find the Bad Guy'
We must learn to rise to the surface and help one another grasp what’s happening when we’re caught in disconnect. Blame can easily become...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- May 8, 2021
- 4 min
Making Contact
Like storms on the sea, when they lose sight of land, sailors are looking for a source of light to guide them back to shore. Watching...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- May 1, 2021
- 3 min
Empathy: A Source of Life
Empathy is a great source for building a safe attunement to our partners. It transcends insecure ways of connecting by delving into some...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- Apr 25, 2021
- 3 min
Leading Someone Where You Haven't Gone
If we learn to confront others experiences with a guard, protecting ourselves from moving too deeply into the waters, we can likely...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- Apr 18, 2021
- 3 min
The Still Face Experiment – Technology
In 2013, Tronick told the Washington Post, ““we just didn’t have any idea how powerful the connection with other people was for infants,...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- Apr 13, 2021
- 4 min
Icebergs – Affairs
Despite our backgrounds or expectations for attachments, we may hit icebergs and endure the trembling waters of affairs. In various...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- Apr 9, 2021
- 3 min
Jumping the Gun – Our Reactions
Our reactions, while valid, can also be a part of how we protect ourselves. In many insecure attachments, we find that there isn’t a...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- Apr 3, 2021
- 3 min
Male Suicidality
47,511 individuals completed suicide in 2019. Of these statistics, there is a great significance around the percentage of men who are...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- Mar 29, 2021
- 4 min
"I Don't Want to be Here." Suicidal Ideation
At times, we might have the answer to our loved one’s pain, but making sure to check in and see that their need is being met can make...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- Mar 26, 2021
- 4 min
Can I Rely Solely on Logic in My Relationship?
To those we love dearly, we can utilize our relationship, and that safety and security specifically, to provide a model for how we reach...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- Mar 22, 2021
- 4 min
Obstacles in Resolving
The obstacles I speak to here are centered on feeling disconnected, disengaged, or disregarded by our partners. You might’ve felt at...
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Tommy Lofgren, MA, LMHC, NCC
- Mar 18, 2021
- 3 min
Alone and Lonely
If we’re sure that we want to build that secure attachment with our loved one, and they’re dedicated to building that safety as well, we...
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